


the idol zone.

by jeonginks



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Angst, Drabble, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Romance, idol x fan, not very chaste, there's some kissing here and there, very little angst though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-28
Updated: 2020-03-28
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:54:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23364274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jeonginks/pseuds/jeonginks
Summary: jeongin walked into the variety show with bright hopes. what he didn’t expect to happen was that he fell in love.
Relationships: Yang Jeongin | I.N/Reader
Kudos: 48





	the idol zone.

One month and seven days. That was how long the reality show was supposed to run for, Jeongin checked the night after his manager pulled him aside from dance practice and told him he was voted in amongst other male idols to join the brand new idol-fan reality show that has been hitting big lately.

The show would let viewers vote for an idol, and randomly select a fan from an array of applications to put them together to spend time with each other for an entire month. Most pairs have been really successful, meaning that nothing too drastically bad has happened aside from the initial awkwardness of being unable to communicate with each other coherently. It was understandable, though; nobody expected a fan to immediately be able to chat like the person they looked up to the most has been their friend since their childhood times.

Jeongin entered this reality show with the excitement of meeting someone new, and after a few half-hearted warnings from his manager and his fellow idol friends to remember not to get too attached and accidentally fall in love. One month and a week might seem like a very short time, but if you spend it with the same person every single day of those weeks, the possibility of feeling more than you had expected would be endless.

Jeongin had brushed those advices off as quickly as he could, with a goofy grin and a short blush on his face as he thought about the possibility of even falling in love with anybody. It was a dream he used to have when he was really young, during a kindergarten age when the only way he knew to attract attention was to pull pigtails and bump shoulders. But now that he became an idol, the dream was a faraway reach that he doubted he would be accessing anytime sooner.

His main focus is the stage, and it will be the stage for a really long time.

“That sounds like fun. I hope you get to stay on stage for as long as you want, really,” you responded quietly.

When you tore your gaze away from the warm but dark ceiling so you could look at Jeongin, your heart jumped at the sight of him already staring back at you, his head laying comfortably on his arm that leaned against the fluffy pillow. You have seen so many pictures of him before; if you open the gallery app in your phone, one that Jeongin had playfully scanned through just two weeks before as he ignored your insistent protest, there would be a folder dedicated to just photos of him sitting there peacefully.

But even then, you had never seen him like this before. Fluffy hair messily sitting over his bright eyes, oversized sweater covering half of his hand yet his pretty fingers still managed to stick out in temptation for you to hold them, and a smile you’ve never seen before. It was not the kind that you have always gushed about, the cheeky grin that you have adored for so many years. This smile… this smile was soft and quiet, it was feathery and dim; it was in complete contrast to how he usually smiled on-screen and you feel your chest heat up at the sight of it.

Jeongin was smiling like the world is ending, but he’s accepted it because the world will end with his favorite person laying next to him.

You breathed out a light chuckle as you turned your entire body towards him, mirroring his action and putting an arm under your head. You held his stare for a minute, thinking it was a game he had initiated without your knowledge. The minute felt longer than his life as he tried his best to maintain eye contact and not explode into an array of heartstrings that screams ‘I want to kiss you!’ even though the beautiful soul that was hiding beneath your eyes was tugging at every piece of him to come closer to you.

Jeongin was bewitched, utterly, by you. It happened slowly and tentatively—starting from the first day until tonight, which would be the last night he spends with you before the show comes to an end and you two returned back to your original route with all the heartfelt memories you’ve made with each other; starting from the first mission of grocery shopping with each other, where he casually learned your interests (outside of, well, him) and your favorite food, to the secret camera prank where you held his face in your hands and spoke lovingly to him as if the actor posing as a hater didn’t even exist within your perimeter.

Ah, Jeongin could remember that prank very clearly. He thought about it a lot when he went back to the dorm that night. The way you didn’t even try to argue with the actor, instead, you just completely tuned him out of the world as you made him focus on the encouraging word you spoke. You wrapped him in a sweet bubble where only love and care existed for him, and somehow he couldn’t listen to all the hate that was thrown his way anymore.

Was it that particular event that changed everything? He couldn’t be too sure. It has definitely magnified his unseen feelings for you, though. He felt a little different being with you after the prank, which has received a very well response due to your approach to resolving the situation.

“Are we going to having a staring contest for the rest of the night like this?” You asked quietly, not hoping to ruin the perfect ambiance of the bedroom. It felt like a hotel room, in the best way possible. With soft and new sheets, two very dim bed lights that illuminated the room to make it look like a beauty filter was cast over the air, and a pair of eyes that could make out each others’ features just enough to get the heart racing. “I’m surprised they let us stay the night like this. I was hoping maybe we can do something fun to treasure this moment.”

“This is fun,” he replied, his smile widening, “I can look at you all day.”

You snorted sheepishly, “Jeongin, no! That’s so cheesy!”

He laughed along with you, shifting his position and ever so slightly scooting closer to you. He shook his head, his hair falling over his eyes even more than before, “There is nothing wrong with being cheesy!”

“Well, I guess there isn’t, but still!” You giggled, furrowing your brows a little, “I honestly never thought I would ever hear you say it out loud… uh, scratch that. I never thought I would have a full-blown conversation with you like this at all!”

“I never thought I would either, with a fan, I mean,” he hummed, his eyes rounding brightly, “But I am really happy that I got the chance to.”

You feigned a scoff as you rolled your eyes at the default words used in any type of interview and variety shows. You could probably stand-in for an idol at this point, you would exactly what to say as long as you were asked the generic questions. Pulling the covers up to your shoulder, you said, “What is up with you today? Your fan service level is off the chart.”

It was not just tonight. Jeongin has been acting weird around you since this afternoon when the shooting began, and you had thought it was just because the show was nearing an end and he was trying to make the best out of his screen time. But there were no cameras at the moment and there were no staff circling around the area reminding you two what not to say or do; if anything, you just wanted him to be able to let his guard down and rest.

“You can rest, Jeongin, nobody is here,” you urged, “You can ease off the idol charm.”

His fist clenched slightly at your nonchalance. You genuinely thought everything was for fan service, and he understood why you would think so, but that didn’t mean the thought of it caused him no pain. It has been a month and almost a full week. Jeongin spent every single day with you, and you spent every single day with him. While he could not be sure whether you felt anything different than the first day, Jeongin knew very well that his heart dropped on its knees for you somewhere down the line.

He was enchanted, slowly; his heart unraveled itself at your mercy and got stuck at the palm of your hands. Jeongin fell in love.

“I am not…” he muttered lowly, pursing his lips together as the sparks in his eyes diminished. He pouted, his lower lip jutting out, and he looked up at you, “It wasn’t just… fan service.”

“There you go again,” you laughed, pressing a palm to your heated face, “You better stop before I explode, Jeongin, because I swear to god I will implode.”

“(Name), it’s not it,” He pressed on when you still didn’t seem to understand, “I mean it. I _can_ look at you all day.”

“Well, that won’t be good for your eyes, I assure,” you mumbled.

“Probably not, but it will be good for my heart,” he said.

Your brows furrowed. Something about his voice was different. It was soft, it had always been soft when he spoke to you, but it felt different this time. In the faltering of his whisper, you found yourself catching drops of affection that he let pour out from his lips. And your senses, as if electrocuted, jumped from the sudden realization that you still could not be too sure of.

“What… what are you talking about, Jeongin…” you asked, clutching the pillow as you licked your lower lip with a weary heart. You realized you probably should not have asked that question, but you could not help the curiosity that burned beneath your ribs.

Jeongin pursed his lips shyly, not quite looking at you as his eyes rolled to the side so he could stare down at the pillow sheet. He drew small circles on his pillow, stalling time as he contemplated whether he wanted to tell you the truth. What was the possibility of him being rejected? Probably not very high… hopefully, not very high. What was the possibility of him being able to express his feelings to you again after tomorrow ends? Not very high.

If he doesn’t let it out now, he might never be able too. And Jeongin planned to take his opportunity.

“I like you, a lot,” he said, perking up to look at you.

You blinked back at him in confusion, then you tilted your head with a soft smile, your heart rate slowing down, “Aww, thanks. I like you a lot too, Jeongin.”

“No, not like that,” he shook his head and moved closer to you immediately, but not close enough to be at a distance he would hope for you both to be. He looked desperate now, his eyes wide his hands fidgeting in nervousness. “I like you. Like, really like you. Like I wanna kiss you.”

Your heart suffered before his pouting face. The boy you admired and loved the most just confessed to you, and surely your heartbeat and jumped at an incredible speed when he did so. The mere idea of being able to do all the romantic gestures you have fantasized about practically kept your heart running. But your mind was not in the right place at all; it knew this was not meant to be.

It could happen. Jeongin could fall in love with you. He did, but he should not have.

“I… Jeongin… I don’t know what to tell you–“ you stuttered out, eyes shaking due to how flustered you are from the confession, “But… uh… no.”

Jeongin gasped under his breath. Pain flickered across his eyes, shown in the rapid blinks he did and the dropping of his pretty lids. It was excruciatingly awkward and painful to have to see him put on such a horrible expression in the face of your rejection, and your protective instinct immediately took over as soon as he tried to move away from you.

“Wait, Jeongin–It’s not that I don’t love you,” you quickly said, reached in to put your hand on his cheek. You struggled to speak. The loving and logical side of you wanting to lay everything down for him as softly as possible, and the reckless, romantic side of you wanting nothing more than just to smush him down with your lips right then and there. Your mind was too busy battling yourself.

He reached up to hold your hand, pressing it closer to his cheek as he softened his gaze to stare at you closer than he had been. He understood where you were coming from and what you wanted to say. You do love him, perhaps even more than you have ever loved anybody else, but your feelings were blurred between the lines of celebrity admiration and partner endearment.

One of them has a very long temporary, the other has an eternity.

“I understand,” he nodded, “With me being an idol and all. I can’t expect you to put up with the time and patience I won’t be able to provide you.”

You bit your lower lip. There was that, definitely. But if you tried hard enough, perhaps you could get used to the life of dating an idol. After all, they wouldn’t always be on stage and they wouldn’t always be on tour. Distance could make the heart grow fonder. It was something much more than just him being an idol.

You looked up to him. Through social media, through the shelf of your room, through your wallpaper screen. You have seen him from up close and far away, you have seen him appear in other people’s accounts, you have heard him through the radio. You see him everywhere, you think about him all the time. You were a fan, and you have cultivated this idea for too long for it to be destroyed in one confession. Jeongin was, quote-unquote, perfect. You embraced his flaws like they are nothing, and you fell for his strength like they’re the whole world.

He is the boy of your dreams. He is the boy you can never have, the kind boy who is too out of your league. And he belongs there in that space, in your dreams and fantasy. You pick at the fact that he is out of touch, and you swallow that bitterness like sweet sugar, and it makes you both delighted and melancholic.

Complicated but you love it, to feel both at the same time. And it would all go away if you accept his confession.

You nodded at him as the only response. You thought he need not know any of your reasons but that complication of an idol being in a relationship. Speaking in a hushed and teary tone, you apologized, “I am so sorry. I love you so much, I promise, but I just can’t.”

“I know you love me,” he said, smiling gently. His thumb traced the back of your palm as he leaned into your touch even more now, “It’s okay. I love you back.”

You wanted to cry somehow, seeing him like this. It was harder for you when he looked so accepting of your decision. Pursing your lips together to suck in the tears, you bravely moved closer to him until you could feel his body loosely up against yours. Jeongin widened his eyes but he did not complain, instead he just let himself bask in your figure with his own.

“You know, I never thought I would ever get to reject an idol,” you said, breathing out an airy chuckle to lighten up the mood, “Let alone the one I love the most.”

He smiled at your attempt, “I never thought I would be rejected by a fan either. I really thought my chances were high.”

Pouting at his response, you readjusted the position of your hand so it moved up to his tousled hair where you moved his hair away so you could see his eyes more clearly. Your other hand reached up to cup the base of his jaw, carefully maneuvering through the space between his cheek and the pillow.

“I might be getting a little cocky here but,” you laughed as you traced your thumb against the shape of his brows, your hands moving along his face until you were holding his jaw. You leaned close to his face, asking, “Do you want me to give you a pity kiss?”

“I’ll take anything you give me,” Jeongin whispered back, completely dazed at the proximity and how close your laughter sounded. “And you can take anything I have.”

You arched a brow, amused but overall, very much attracted, “Really? Like what?”

“Anything you want,” he replied, his heart pounding when he felt the surface of your lips hovering over his own, just barely ghosting with a sensational touch.

You giggled before you reached in fully to seal the night shut for the both of you. Anything else that has ever happened completely shoved out of your minds as Jeongin chased the intoxicating taste of your lips with his own, his body eagerly leaning into you and trapping you between his legs.

The adrenaline rushed to your heads but it was no battle to how breathless your mouths made each other feel. Jeongin was desperately latching onto the kiss, unwilling to let go despite feeling his chest heave up from the lack of oxygen. You could feel his breathing fanning at your face as he exhaled through his nose, but you couldn’t quite care as you moved to hover over his body, your legs straddling his abdomen as he tried to sit up as much as he could,

His arms around your waist and your hands at the base of his neck—kissing each other as if you’ve never done it before and this was his last chance; it felt as if any second now, your pajama top would be pulled over your head, and your youthful and rash heart was ready to give him everything he asked for.

“God, (Name), you’re making this harder for me,” he said when he pulled away, his hasty eyes glaring up at you with nothing short of desire and utter enticement. He could feel your fingers tapping seductively at his neck, and he could do nothing else but pull you down to him so he could recapture your lips and throw his consciousness away.

He should have never done this.

“You are making this hard for me too,” you moved away and said, pursing your lips together and pursing your eyes at him. “I shouldn’t–this is against everything I have.”

You should have never done this.

Now neither of you can afford to let each other go.

Jeongin softened at the trembling sigh you breathed out. His hands that held at your waist moved up so he could check if you were crying; you were not, he swiped his fingers under your eyes and he felt no tears.

“Jeongin…” you called out to him amidst the silence and the darkness and the warmth, “I love you, a lot.”

“I know you do,” he cooed. “And I love you too.”

You nudged his nose with yours then, slowly and endearingly. His giggle sent spikes through your body, and for a moment your hands held onto him tighter. Tilting your neck so you could give him a short kiss, you could feel him smile into your affection.

“Look, if you ever want to just try and see if we will work out,” he whispered a suggestion, taking care of your current state and rubbing your back soothingly, “I am all for it.”

You nodded with a remorseful hum. When you reached in to hug him, he carefully adjusted to your position and placed his hands securely around your back. He leaned back against the pillow, bringing your body with him. None of you said anything, but with how tight you were holding onto each other, you knew that both of you didn’t want tomorrow morning to come and for this moment to end.

You wanted to try, after all, and you would tell him that sooner or later. For now, you needed the calm and the quiet, you needed to be with him under zero interruption. You clutched him tighter, your head rested on his shoulder as your chest moved along with his to breathe.

And you knew, that whether you and he would work out in the future or not, Yang Jeongin will always be the best thing that has ever happened to you.


End file.
